We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
