he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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