a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
