The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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