I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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