i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Help me help you realize you are a moron
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
