I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
