I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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