Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
