i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
