he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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