i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
