Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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