GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
