Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
