; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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