Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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