dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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