Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
