sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
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