So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
