Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
