just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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