We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
