I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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