I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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