google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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