Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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