I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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