i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
