Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
