Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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