he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
