babies were throwing up all over the place
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
