can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
