I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
