RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
