so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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