You just made me feel so damn special
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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