VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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