I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize