Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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