i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize