Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
