I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
