Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
