So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
