remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
