We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
