Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
