they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize