the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
