I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
