there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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