I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize