woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize