You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
