At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
