My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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