i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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