You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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