it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
