how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So vagazzling was a success
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
