You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
