Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
