garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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