I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
