I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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