I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Even my vagina gasped.
There's always time for handjobs
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
