just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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