I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you didnt know i had herpes?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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