Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
