can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
