I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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