I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
