do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
