have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
