My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
