I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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